Navigating Relationships with Loved ones who Struggle with Mental Illness
Deep, long-term, and committed relationships are inherently challenging due to the complexities of individual personalities. Think about yourself for a second. Have there been times when you’ve struggled to understand what makes you happy, what you want to do in this lifetime, and how to navigate your own challenges as a human? All humans are intricate beings with layers of emotions, thoughts, and experiences, shaped by different backgrounds and perspectives, making the complexity of each individual unique. So, when people get together to develop rewarding relationships, discrepancies are inevitable.
Developing and maintaining meaningful relationships with people living with mental health conditions presents a variety of challenges. Navigating a relationship with someone struggling with mental health is different depending on the nature of the relationship. By recognizing and researching the specific mental health challenges your loved one faces, you can gain a better understanding of their experiences and how to support them. Below are suggestions on how to love and support someone with a mental illness:
Children: According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1 in 5 children and young people ages 3–17 in the U.S. have a mental, emotional, behavioral, or developmental disorder. Being a parent to a child who struggles with mental health issues can seem insurmountable. If the mental illness is serious, a parent will have to adjust their expectations surrounding their child. Researching a child’s mental health condition and actively communicating with the child are vital steps in understanding their situation. Additionally, a parent will need to engage with the child’s health care provider, teachers, and other family members to learn the best way to support the child. Finding resources in the community and at schools can greatly assist parents, thereby alleviating the burden of managing the delicate situation alone. Education about a child’s mental illness can allow a parent to take a step into their child’s world from a more compassionate lens.
Parent(s): According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 22.8% of U.S. adults aged 18 or older were estimated to have a mental illness in 2021. Having a parent with mental health challenges is painful for a child and introduces an imbalance to the relational dynamics. Most mental illnesses will affect the way in which a parent does their job. The age of the child who has a parent with mental health issues in addition to their whereabouts, including resources, contributes to how much control the child will have over the situation. Some parents are very open about their struggles whereas others are not. Young adults and adults should work to understand when it is ok to talk to their parent(s) about their mental health to learn how they can support them. However, there are many times when a parent doesn’t want to talk about their mental health struggles with their child. Often, the best way to navigate a parent with a mental illness is by accessing outside support including the extended family.
Friends: Oftentimes, especially teenagers, will turn to their friends when dealing with mental health issues. If it is a very close friend, it’s important to understand what they are going through and how their mental illness is impacting their life. As a friend, make sure to validate your friend’s experiences, and understand how their mental health may impact your relationship with them. While friendships and healthy connections are important for one’s mental wellbeing, a good friend will also recognize the need to set boundaries and possibly encourage their friend to seek professional help.
Romantic Partners: As romantic relationships are typically more intimate than others, one partner grappling with mental health issues significantly impacts the relationship. It is imperative for a partner to educate themselves on their partner’s struggles including ways to support and protect their partner. It is crucial for the partner to have realistic expectations on what they can and can’t do for their significant other and they may need to set boundaries around the relationship.
Navigating relationships with people wrestling with mental illness requires patience, empathy, and unconditional love. If you want to strengthen these precious bonds you need to be compassionate and committed to listen without judgment and ask questions to better understand how a person is feeling. Over time, these relationships may turn out to be the most rewarding ones in your life.
Lexi Lawrenz
Birch Psychology
Resources
https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/serious-mental-illness
https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/features/mental-health-children-and-parents.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/head-games/202109/what-its-be-the-child-mentally-ill-parent
https://childmind.org/article/support-friend-with-mental-health-challenges/
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10597-024-01288-1