Hope

Hope

TW: Suicidal Ideation

This article will not discuss suicide in any form, but is rather a reflect on the “instead”.

I would like to start by stating that at any point in your life, if things feel too unbearable and too much, there is always the chance to start entirely over- a rebirth of your life without ending anything. The possibilities and options of this world are endless, no matter where you are or what you believe otherwise.

If you can afford to, you can book a plane ticket tonight and start over in a new country. You could be working at a job you would never consider otherwise, living in a place you’ve never been but always imagined, surrounded by new people and experiences and living entirely differently. If you have less resources available, sell what you have and take off on a backpacking trip outdoors, by yourself in nature, and reconnect with the Earth and see where you end up. Gather gear and just start walking, and reconnect with yourself and end all other commitments that may be holding you back. This will involve leaving your family, friends, and current life behind for a period- but if it is what keeps you here, they will understand and be highly supportive. 

If you don’t feel the desire to leave your community and place behind just yet, try doing something life changing from where you are- starting a new career even if it’s frivolous, adopting a pet, starting a house project that will take months to complete. Paint every wall in your house a different color, because that’s something you’ve never done before. Dig a pond in your backyard and adopt some fish. Attaching yourself and motivation to anything new and different can get you to the top of the hill you’ve been climbing.

Finally, and this is not meant to incite any guilt in any way, but just know that the loss of a person in any format affects so many people for a very long time, and even permanently. Every person is noticed and important.

It seems silly, but the loss of my family dog from a few years ago still makes my parents tear up- and they haven’t been able to bring themselves to adopt a new dog since. The loss hurt them that deeply that their lives are forever changed.

I lost my grandmother as a child and I still feel the hole in my life where she should’ve been. I still think about her at family events and when I feel lonely, even though I lost her half my life ago and have so many other family members- they still are not her.

My brother in law died a little over a year ago, and I still think about him several times per day- even though I only got to know him a few years. He is missed at every family function and during every milestone of my daughter. My in laws still don’t smile- ever, my husband isn’t the same, and everything about our lives is just a bit different. 

Every loss is felt, even if someone thinks they won’t be missed or would be better off gone. That is never ever true.

Please, please, reach out to someone if you are ever considering ending your life, harming yourself, or just need to talk. 988 is the number you can call or text that will allow you to anonymously speak with someone whenever you need.

Therapy is a great place to start when things begin to feel negative, as a psychologist can help you heal from your trauma and emotions, process strong negative feelings, and allow you to find other coping mechanisms. Therapy should be considered at any point in a person’s life, as it can help with so many different concerns and is so life-changing.

You are matter, you are loved, and the possibilities of life on this planet are endless. There are millions of things  you can go do- at any time- and you should get to try all of them in your life. You can do and become anything at any time, and you can find peace and happiness.

Birch Psychology