An Interview with A Retired Psychotherapist

I interviewed Greg Sims, who had a thriving counseling private practice for over 35 years. He has a B.A. in Psychology, a Master’s degree in Clinical Counseling, and a Professional Counseling License from the state. He also has a Master’s degree and licensure in School Counseling.

Kyndal: So, Greg, why did you choose to go into counseling?

Greg: I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career. I was to the point in my college education that I had to declare a major. My favorite college professor taught Psychology and spoke about his career in counseling. It sounded awesome. I had always been the person people sought out to talk to. They said I was a good listener and I always made them feel better. I enjoyed doing that, so I decided to make a career out of it.

Kyndal: Tell me a story about a class you took in college, pertaining to Psychology.

Greg: I will never forget it. We were sitting with our chairs in a circle. The professor was teaching about group therapy. He instructed us to go around the circle and describe our feelings.  I began to panic. “Feelings? What feelings?! I’m not feeling anything but hungry and bored. How can all these people put words to certain emotions they are supposedly feeling?” Although I had enjoyed being the one people spoke to, it was unfamiliar for me to be the one sharing. It was foreign, but a good lesson for me to learn. Over the years, I had clients who felt like I did that time. They had no clue how to attach words to various emotions. I had to teach them the descriptions of fear, frustration, confusion, worry, joy, hope, and gratefulness.

Kyndal: Describe how psychotherapy works.

Greg: First, we need to establish a definition of what the client is trying to fix or change. We identify current thoughts, feelings, and goals. Then, it is often helpful to look back into a client’s past to determine if certain life experiences could be contributing to the client’s current situation. We go over areas such as parenting, education, abuse, bullying, things they have done or witnessed. If something substantial is brought up, we work to diminish the negative feelings of those memories. It is often discovered that the client felt powerless in a situation and it’s important to help him find truth based on what he knows now. We work on realizing one’s power and no longer suffering from the victimization. We then see if there is a connection from this trauma to his current situation and move forward from there. 

Kyndal: Which psychotherapy methods were your favorites to use?

Greg: I personally tended to use Solution focused therapy because it is goal driven. What problem are we trying to solve? Let’s fix it. I also used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because it is focused on how both thoughts and behaviors affect outcomes. It is evidence-based, effective, and highly versatile. I also had tremendous success with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help people heal from severe trauma. I was also a trained Life Coach and I frequently used techniques from that approach to help my clients. 

Kyndal: How long were your clients typically in therapy?

Greg: In many cases, issues could be resolved in 6-8 sessions. Much of this depended on the issue we were working on and especially depended upon the motivation of the client. My goal was never to keep people in therapy for long periods of time. I know therapists who would do that. I wanted to help people get better and get on with their lives. However, if something came up again in the future, I’d be happy to see them.

Kyndal: Is there anything that would help the process to go more quickly?

Greg: Absolutely. The more effort a client put in between appointments made all the difference. If I assigned tasks to work on, such as journaling techniques, new strategies to try, discussions to have, etc., those who lived up to their end of the bargain had greater and quicker results. I called it “homework”. Like any student, if you do your homework, you will grow and develop. If you don’t, it will take you longer to achieve success. I always made sure that whatever they were working on at home was positive, encouraging, motivating. I would never want them dealing with difficult memories or feelings on their own. We reserve that for our appointment times.

Kyndal: What are your goals for your clients?

Greg: To tell you the truth, it’s really simple. I just want them to be happy.  That’s it.

Kyndal: What are your favorite clients like?

Greg: I love clients who are eager to learn, work, and change. I love those who are forthcoming, honest, and easy to communicate with. Most of them are articulate, goal-directed, and insightful. I often learn things from them and vice versa. We feel like a team, striving for the same success. There are many who make me laugh and I do the same for them. Therapy can be fun. I had one of the best jobs on earth.

Kyndal: Have you ever had difficult clients?

Greg: Yes, a few, but not for very long. The difficult clients are usually not in therapy because they want to be. They are being forced through a spouse, family member, or court. They tend to be uncooperative, unmotivated, and often misrepresent the truth. Sometimes, I would have new clients who were hesitant to trust me. They would question my education and experience. They wouldn’t cooperate with my suggestions or techniques. If after a few sessions I felt like we weren’t getting anywhere, I would recommend they find a different therapist. This was rare, but there are many therapists out there with different personalities and strategies and strengths and maybe one of those would be a better fit.

Kyndal: Did you work with children?

Greg: Yes, some. There are therapists that specialize in working with children. I would build a rapport with them and talk with them as much as I could. However, I’d often focus on working with the parents of the child. We’d discuss the issues, trauma, etc. and I would give them ideas to help them with the child. Sometimes parents needed some parenting strategies. However, it’s different working with teens. I loved working with teens. I had been a high school counselor. In this case, my relationship with the teenager came first. I needed them to talk with me and trust me. If they thought I was going to tell the parents everything they said, they’d never cooperate. Once they knew I was on their side, they were usually willing to follow my advice. Separately, I might visit with the parents and help them learn how to interact or help with their teen, without giving away any personal information that might have been discussed.

Kyndal: Why would you say your counseling practice was so successful?

Greg: Because I genuinely loved my job. I sincerely cared for my clients. I wanted to help them grow and to be happy. I built my reputation around that. People who knew me or heard of my practice, knew that I was caring, helpful, even fun, and genuinely invested in their success. I loved every minute. I only retired because of my age and wanting to do stuff other old people get to do. 

Kyndal: Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. Do you have anything you’d like to add?

Greg: People will find that most therapists are like me. They enjoy working with people and want to see them happy. They have caring hearts combined with their education in mental health counseling, which is a great recipe for therapeutic success.