Uvalde Tragedy
No parent should have to outlive their child.
No child should have to fear going to school.
No parent should have to worry about the safety of their child when they drop them off.
As a human being with a heart, learning about the events of the recent Uvalde shooting have left me heartbroken and at a loss.
I grew up in the early 2000s in Colorado, in a town familiar with violence. In middle school, I arrived to my school one day to learn that two people had been murdered on our playground and tied to the swings. Luckily for me, that was the worst that ever happened and I wasn’t in danger.
I still remember the constant lockdown drills. I remember having to hide under my desk for what felt like forever, bored and clueless as to the reason why. I remember at least five times my school going on an actual lockdown due to a threat in the area that thankfully never transpired (usually a nearby armed bank robbery, threat from a student or parent, etc.)
How lucky I feel now that I always ended up safe and could count these lockdowns as merely an annoyance. How scared I am that my child will not get the same naivety that I had.
My daughter turned one this weekend. I am grateful that I have a few years before I have to send her to school, but when I do, I am sad that I will have to fear it. No matter what state I live in, whether I choose to send her to public or private school, or whether she goes to a small or large school- she will still be at risk. Gun violence and evil doesn’t seem to discriminate.
My heart breaks for the parents of the children who witnessed the Uvalde school shooting.
Listening to the parents sobbing, the children recounting the events, and watching the news coverage as the number of dead and injured rose was very difficult- and is for everyone around the world. Children and teachers have it even worse- as they are finishing out their school years and are forced to attend throughout this extremely traumatic time regardless. Offer support to those you know and know that they are likely experiencing fear and concern even states away.
For the vast majority, children don’t get a choice whether to attend school, parents don’t get a choice whether to send them, and there is only so much we can do. Bulletproof backpacks, security doors, drills, steel cabinets- all of these are helpful but none of them prevent the real causes and issues.
Why is this happening? One statement being thrown around by some is that these shooters are mentally ill. The New York Times wrote a wonderful article, which I have included as a resource below, about why that may not be as prominent of a reason compared to simple developmental issues these people are experiencing. A researcher who studies mass shootings even pinpointed the overall reason of most shootings as being “a need to prove oneself.” (NYT, 2022).
Many of the recent young gunmen were able to legally purchase their semi automatic rifles right after turning 18, during a period when they are facing societal pressures and intense developmental changes that can cause impulsive violence. Others found other ways to access these weapons, likely from family members or friends.
Some of these shooters claim to be inspired by other mass shootings and the attention received. Some claim to be vigilantes, or victims of bullying. One very interesting note is that of the 30 deadliest mass shootings from 1949 to 2017, only two involved gunmen younger than 21. However, of the nine deadliest shootings since 2018, six have involved gunmen younger than 21.
A growing culture of people proud of violence combined with isolation and easy access to violent social media groups or online games could be a contributing factor in this shift of age. Many of these murderers have posted about their weapons or intentions online and have received positive support that way, leading up to their shootings. These young gunmen are in a very critical stage of their development where their brains are not fully developed and they may not be receiving the social support they are needing, causing devastating results. Their behavior is more aggressive and impulsive than at any other age due to life changes and hormones, and combining that with the social issues surrounding the pandemic and access to deadly weapons has been catastrophic.
Remember that “the vast majority of young men with mental health disorders, even serious ones, never commit acts of violence. They are far more likely to be victims or to hurt themselves.” (NYT, 2022). It is important to not increase the stigma against mentally ill people in response to these tragedies. It is also important to not victim blame, blame “crime”, or blame things like immigration (a recent statement made due to the Uvalde shooter having a Spanish-sounding last name). These gunmen are often first time offenders, almost always white, almost always citizens, and never have any good reason whatsoever to be committing these shootings.
Overall, the reason behind these attacks comes from “an incredible sense of aching despair plus hopelessness, and then there’s a sense of a lack of meaningful connections, then there’s access to lethal means” (NYT, 2022). What to do about that is less clear- but perhaps addressing as much of each of these as possible would help.
Access to mental health resources is seen as one way to prevent people from acting on violent impulses and help them with their developmental transitioning. That may be a good place to start- and could explain the increase lately in these killings as mental health resources become less accessible.
Each time this happens, I make myself look at the faces of the children and people killed and read their names. I pray for each of them, which is the bare minimum I can do and may make no difference at all, but it makes me feel just a bit better. But thoughts and prayers are not enough anymore.
I urge you to elect representatives that will prioritize child safety. I urge you to support laws and bills that will protect our nation’s vulnerable and defenseless. I urge you to do more than offer continued well wishes- offer solutions and tangible support if you are able. This is an issue that has been present several decades in our country with no change. Mass shooting numbers continue to rise- and there is some culpability in silence.
Hug your child extra tight. I have no other answers or advice that would make anything better. Please consider donating to the links I have listed below. One goes to the movement to end gun violence and the other goes to the victims of Uvalde.
I hope that one day our country can change to protect our children better and keep them safe. I wish that we didn’t have a long list of tragedies and no resolution. I wish that we could all feel safe in our world, and I hate that there is so much fear and sorrow. Find a therapist or a trusted friend if you need someone to talk through these events with, and we are always here to help.
Everytown For Gun Safety (donations and petitions)- https://www.everytown.org/actions/
Robb Elementary Relief Fund- https://www.gofundme.com/f/robb-elementary-relief-fund
Kyndal Sims- kyndal.sims@birchpsychology.com
Birch Psychology
Resources:
https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources/gun-violence-trauma-resources
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