Overcoming the Difficulties of Staying Consistent
Experiencing cognitive dissonance, the mental discomfort we feel from holding conflicting beliefs, values or attitudes, is something everyone experiences at some point in their life. These incompatible feelings between the ambitious objectives we aspire to achieve and our daily habits create internal conflict and frustration. Most people, including myself, have visions of the type of person they want to be but commonly struggle to identify the steps and time it takes to become their ideal self. When it comes to building habits, I believe it is not the most grandiose behaviors but the most consistent ones that actually create change.
During my freshman and sophomore years in college, I experienced weeks and months of feeling stagnant in my routines that no longer brought me joy or fulfillment. I knew something about my lifestyle had to change, but I didn’t know where to begin. My mental to-do list was full and my motivation battery wasn’t charged enough to complete a singular task. A conversation with my therapist quickly altered my perspective on the functionality of motivation. She asked me to consider the idea that “motivation breeds motivation.” This advice, although simple, completely made sense. I cannot expect to wake up one morning with enough motivation to get everything on my to-do list done. Slowly but routinely, I started tackling more each day, and although I’m still not there yet, my daily output better matches the vision I had for myself a year ago.
Consistency occurs at both the macro and micro level. Oftentimes, micro habits cause macro results. Running 300+ miles in one year might sound daunting to a beginner, however running one mile most days of the year doesn’t sound as intimidating. Writing a 20-page research paper initially appears intimidating, however if it is due in four months, composing five pages a month, presents itself as manageable. On a smaller scale, starting the day by making your bed can create a chain reaction of productivity.
It is important to note, the drive to create habits and stay consistent with ourselves comes from a place of self love. Sticking to a routine we believe will allow ourselves to grow into the person we want to be is paramount to achieving overall happiness. I often remind myself, building habits doesn’t come from a place of perfectionism but from showing up for ourselves and accepting that our best will look different everyday. Because change occurs slowly, I’m reminded of the story of “The Little Engine That Could.” Like the steady blue tank engine, our goals and aspirations deserve a consistent commitment for the rest of our lives.
Lexi Lawrenz
Birch Psychology
Resources
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
https://www.thelonggame.co/home/2020/2/26/why-consistency-is-key-to-creating-new-habits