Graduation Blues
It’s coming up on graduation season once again for high school and college students everywhere, and with this time comes some incredibly drastic changes. For high school students, they are now at an adult age and with the whole world in front of them, and they may be readying to go off to college in the fall, planning their trade career, or trying to find themselves before they make any major commitments. For college students, they are tasked with finding the career they worked so hard for, perhaps finding a new place to live, and finding ways to manage student debts and other fun “adult” things. Students will swear up and down that they can’t wait to leave school behind, talking about how much they hate their homework, hate tests, hate waking up early, and can’t wait to go do xyz. While this may be the general sentiment, most of these young adults may find themselves afraid as the time for the end comes closer, as they are hit with realizing how large of a change they are really looking at.
High school is something many of us take for granted. During this time we get to see our friends all day everyday, play sports for the last time in our lives, participate in other hobbies or fun classes such as art and music that we won’t get to do for free ever again, and know that everything about our lives is secure. Once we leave high school, it becomes way harder to stay connected to our friends, we miss all of our activities that we may have taken for granted, and we feel pressured by our family members to quickly find a job or college, which during this time especially is no easy feat. This can lead to situation depression and anxiety, beginning late senior year sometimes coinciding with the well known “senioritis”. For some, these troublesome emotional issues will subside once they move in with roommates and feel socially fulfilled once again, once they begin college and see all of its fun experiences, or once they find a job they enjoy. For others who may not be so lucky, these can develop into worse mental health concerns if these young adults are not properly supported and given help in their situations and with their coping skills.
Your child may complain about having trouble sleeping or eating around this time, as they are experiencing anxiety symptoms for what may be the first time in their lives. Your child may be crying, moody and rude, unexcited about graduation, and unwilling to participate in normal activities as they battle depression symptoms that are also unfamiliar. This does not necessarily indicate that your child is going to develop a full-blown mental disorder or that they need serious intervention of any type. Situational changes happen and these symptoms come with them. Once the hard part is over and the next phase begins, these usually can clear up on their own. It is up to you to help ease this transitionary period however you feel is best.
It is important to remind your high school aged child to cherish their time in high school while it is there. We all wish to rush through high school and into adulthood as fast as we can, but we may end up with regrets if we don’t acknowledge our high school time as being as important as it is. I’m not saying it’s the best years of our life or that it’s a great experience for all. Some of us look back on our high school years and are glad to be gone. But life transitions such as leaving this, especially when the experience has been great and the future is unknown, can cause these seniors to experience scary new feelings they are unfamiliar with. They may cry after their last soccer game, become nauseous during their graduation, worry about losing their friend group, and lose the ability to sleep while waiting on college application decisions. It is important to reassure your child that things will be okay for them and to help any way you can with their last few months of easy childhood. Allow them to spend time with their friends, so that they have the memories to look back on forever. Encourage them to play sports that last year, as jobs will be forever but fun activities will not be. Help them plan their future, whatever it may look like to them, so that they have things to look forward to in the upcoming months instead of confusion and concern. Therapy may be a good idea for many to learn coping skills so that they can regulate their emotions during this time and do not make any harmful impulsive decisions in response to their fear.
Anytime we experience major life changes our minds may end up developing uncontrollable sadness, fear, or excessive worry. When we get married, have kids, change jobs, move, retire, etc., we likely remember how hard it was for us to adapt even if the change was looked forward to. Graduating high school is probably the first major life transition that we all make, and it can give strong anxiety and depression symptoms to the most happy and well-balanced person out there. It is important that every “kid” feel supported and be reassured that things will be okay, they won’t feel this way forever, it is normal to feel this way and there is nothing wrong with them, and while so many wonderful things are ending, so many wonderful things are about to begin. They can begin planning their first apartment, finding their first relationship, planning trips, having an income, and pursuing their passions. This next phase is just as exciting even though it means letting some things go. Happy graduation to all of the 2021 graduates out there!
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology
Resources
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/college-graduation-depression-anxiety/
https://www.psycom.net/college-graduation-anxiety-expert-advice/
