Thanksgiving and Mental Health
Thanksgiving is about stopping and being thankful for things in one’s life. However, when someone struggles with depression, this can be difficult. When there’s little hope, no way out, so much hurt or loss, or daily tears, it can feel impossible to be thankful for anything.
Instead of succumbing to the despair, start small. Maybe you can’t be thankful for a healthy, happy marriage, but you could be thankful for being strong enough to live through the difficulty or for living alone. Maybe you can’t be thankful for your happy life, but you can be thankful for the few minutes of laughter or joy you experience during the day. If there’s a struggle with physical or mental health, try to be thankful for the few moments of success or peace. If the holiday reminds you that a loved one is no longer at the table, focus on the happy memories made in the past. Go through the day the way your loved one would wish for you. Maybe you don’t know how to answer the question, “So, how are things going?” without tears creeping up. Smile with those tears and say, “Life isn’t perfect, but I am here and that’s enough.”
Thanksgiving is often when family members come together. Maybe holiday family gatherings are full of stress and tension. Focus on one or two reasons the experience can leave a joyful memory. A conversation with a relative you love. A favorite food you enjoy. Or maybe just a beautiful view from the backyard while family members bicker inside. When struggling with depression, it can take a lot of effort and energy to hide those emotions from loved ones and pretend that life is going well and is perfectly happy. Remind yourself that all of those smiling, happy family members are only showing their best. They, too, go home to stressors and problems. Nobody is happy and healthy all the time.
When overwhelming depression can plan to overtake you on the Thanksgiving holiday, try planning ahead for a way to battle it. Prepare for ways to not let depression win. Plan on starting the day by journaling your thoughts and worries. Pamper yourself with a relaxing bath and a new outfit that triggers confidence. Imagine the day unfolding and consider which things might try to bring you down. A family member? The lack of a family member? Feeling hopeless or embarrassed about your life? Being jealous of others around you who seem to have it all together? When you have figured out what you’re worried about, figure out how to manage it. Can it be avoided? Can the subject be changed? Can you come up with a rehearsed response? Can you limit the time you need to attend the event? Sometimes merely identifying the problems associated with the holiday can help you plan for a way to make it as positive as possible.
Most importantly, do not let the day go by with you crying in bed. That lets depression win. Force yourself to participate. No matter how small, there are things you can be thankful for. The blue sky. The air your lungs breathe. The gift of another day of life. People who love you. Find even one thing and be thankful for it.
It may help to break the day into sections like morning, noon, and evening. How can you get through the morning? What can you focus on and even look forward to? How can you get through the noontime? What may bring you a feeling of joy for a bit? Do the same for the evening time.
Before you know it, Thanksgiving Day will be over and you will have made it. Hopefully, despite the depression, you stop and realize that you laughed. Or maybe you just even smiled. Maybe you experienced some positive feelings. Maybe the meal was the best part! But you got through the day that for some is impossible. That’s how it can be to live with depression. Get through the day. Get through half the day. Get through the moment. Just keep going. Someday you will realize that you’ve gotten through enough days to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The reminder that better days are in your future. You will overcome and feel joy again. Imagine what those future Thanksgivings will feel like! When you’ll be able to sit at the table with nothing but gratefulness in your heart.
In the meantime, know that we at Birch Psychology are thankful for working with you and know that we are wishing you the best Thanksgiving Day possible.
Kyndal Sims
Birch Psychology